“What?”

Not exactly the Algonquin Round Table…

…but a rather excellent application of the so-popular-it’s-hackneyed-but-still-quite-amusing-when-used-effectively phrase graffiti-ed onto this street sign somewhere in Marin…

from Mission Mission

“Take your stinking paws off me, you damned dirty ape!”

Speaker Pelosi totally threw up in her mouth a little bit – and who could blame her? I loved that she added the eye-roll/side-eye right at the end there. You know, right after Harry Reid essentially ceded the Constitutionally-specified powers of the legislative branch to the executive branch?

from Wonkette

Seward St. Slides

Some of my fondest memories of a childhood spent in San Francisco are visits to the Seward St. Slides. It’s just a little sliver of a playground that consists solely of two enormous (or so it seemed to my eight-year old eyes) concrete slides. My sisters and I would zoom down the slide and race back up for another ride down. We would do this hundreds of times over the course of an hour or so.

Of course, the slide experience improved exponentially when my step-mother started bringing a roll of wax paper on our outings.  We’d clamor for a fresh square to sit on as we careened down, ensuring that our little butts generated a minimum of friction, resulting in maximum speed, guaranteed airtime and a dramatic increase in the risk of serious injury…  It was magical.

I’m frankly amazed that the slides still exist, what with both litigation and the coddling of children being so popular these days…

At any rate, this video captures perfectly that, while we can all take part in the simple joys of a slide, the physical experience for a grown-up versus a kid is quite different.

Tobias Fünke

So, life lately has been, for lack of a better word, “hectic” (by which I mean it’s been kind of miserable).  And I’ve clearly been neglecting my blog – and I shall continue to do so in this post, by simply tossing up a couple of videos of the inimitable Tobias Fünke from still-mourned Arrested Development.

I watched the whole series, yet, for whatever reason, I have no recollection of the excellent and then-newly-coined phrase used in the second video below.  How could I have lived without this as part of my vocabulary? Don’t know – but glad to finally have it…

“Paratrooper Training”

OK, I’ll do my best not to rely too heavily on Old Jews Telling Jokes when I’m having a slow-blogging day. But this one was too hilarious not to share…

Vodpod videos no longer available.

Unfortunate line break

For some odd reason, I was just Googling “Francie,” a Mattel fashion doll who was Barbie’s “mod” cousin.  At any rate, I came across this rather distressing link to an eBay sale of said doll…

Still a bit unclear on the ad, but I think it means that Francie’s merkins are included in the sale…

Directions

Vodpod videos no longer available.
from Old Jews Telling Jokes

If only I could write like this…

Michael K., who writes the genius blog Dlisted, is the Oscar Wilde of his generation.  One of his posts today opens as follows:

If we got a $1 for every time we heard about Jon Grosselin rubbing his fat man balloons all over some homely young thing, we’d have enough money to buy out Ed Hardy and burn it to the ground.

Believe it or not, it only gets better from there.  Be sure to read the whole thing…

I am so envious of Michael K.’s skills as a writer – seriously, he can turn a phrase like nobody’s business.  Of course, I don’t envy his having to spend his days reading about the Gosselins, Paris Hilton and La Lohan.  But I’m glad he does it for us, the readers…

“What’s wrong with him?”

I can’t figure out whether I’m the lazy and inattentive boyfriend or the demanding girlfriend.  Though I suspect if you asked Chris, he’d totally peg me as the shrew…  OK, I’ll admit it – I can be just a tad shrewish…  At any rate, this PS3 commercial made me laugh.

Vodpod videos no longer available.

LUVURPL8

Saw a sexy young man on his bike the other afternoon – a not-unusual occurrence here in SF.  So why did I grab for my camera in this instance?

Because his license plate made me laugh out loud…

News from Morningwood Heights

NYTimes staff members prove to be stiff competition in the always-hard task of writing headlines…  In other news, fabulous erect penises.

from Gawker

“Good Afternoon – Suicide Hotline. There are 8 callers ahead of you. Please hold.”

I suppose I shouldn’t be laughing at this…  But I am.  Though I’m thinking rather than “Out of Service,” the sign on the phone should just read “Oh screw it – go ahead and jump, loser.”

from sfist

Bingo!

Oh man…

from The WOW Report

Yes, I’m lazy…

I know it’s a cop-out to just post a mildly amusing video, but what’re you gonna do? I don’t have anything in particular to rail about/against at the moment – plus I’m busy working during the day and watching TV in the evening.

At any rate, I admire the stoicism of the Czech reporter in this piece – almost as much as I admire the grinning guy with the arm around his shoulder. Comedy gold.

from Gawker

Henri, le chat noir

So, are all cats inherently French?  Or are the French simply very cat-like?  Either way, this short film captures that certain je ne sais quoi of both species…

thanks Claudine!

Hell no! Hell no! Hell no-oh-oh-oh-oh…

Been awhile since I posted Auto-Tune the News – mainly because none have made me both laugh and tap my feet quite like this one (although Episode # 7 is worth watching if only for Katie Couric’s line re. the dangers of texting while driving: “could turn an LOL into a great big OMG.” Sing it, sister…).  But Episode # 6 is pretty darn good – who’d’ve thunk that the break-out star of this one would be John Boehner?  And crazy Michelle Bachmann comes off well too.  I mean, her “singing” does – she remains completely insane.  Seriously. No joke…

And by the way, his last name is pronounced “Boner” not “Bayner.” – I don’t care how many times he tries to fancy up the fact that his last name is a synonym for an erection.  I long for the day when I hear all the news readers reporting, “Today on Capitol Hill, Congressman John BONER of  Ohio, yadda, yadda, yadda.”

Also, he is orange.

Jesus, can’t He take a hint? I’m sooooo blocking him…

OMG, Jesus, it’s over…  You need to move on with your life.  I’m with Odin now and that’s not going to change…

from gizmodo

Damn you to hell, soda machine guy.

Hyperbole, perhaps – but also completely true.

from passive-aggressive notes

How do I love thee, San Francisco?

Let me count the ways…

found affixed to a car parked (presumably badly) at 23rd & Guerrero and posted to sfist