Why, annoying hipsters?

no-more-hipster-scumSeriously, if all 10 or 12 or however many of you there were want to have lunch together, far be it from me to stop you.  But you know what? Don’t do it at Farm:Table, which measures about 6′ x 6′ and holds maybe 8 people comfortably. Besides managing to take up all the seats, tables and air, three of you were milling around blocking access to the cashier where I was trying to place my order.  I know it’s a difficult concept to wrap your heads around, but there are in fact other people in this world who are trying to go about their lives, performing their quotidian chores and mundane tasks – even despite their lack of elaborately groomed facial hair, plaid shirts, ironic glasses and fixed-gear bikes. And you’re in our way…

Of course, as it turned out, the point was moot.  Despite charging $8.50 for a sandwich, it’s cash only – and I had only $7 on me.  Honestly, who the hell carries cash anymore?  It’s not like I’m some senior citizen headed out for an afternoon playing the slots at the local Indian casino.  “Cash only” – I really should have gone back over there and paid with a sock full of nickels… Of course, then I had to fight my way past the two dudes standing in the doorway having a conversation – perfect location for a chat! Wasn’t there an escalator around for you to stand at the top of..?

Good thing Pearl’s is right down the street. Not only did they take my debit card, they prepared me a delicious cheeseburger and fries.


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