You boarded the southbound 30-Stockton at Union Square, just as I did. And for whatever reason, even when I saw you simply waiting for the bus, you got on my nerves. Was it because you were waiting for the bus at the wrong end of the boarding island? Or perhaps just a flash of ESP on my part as to what would ensue once on-board?
At Market St., hordes of people pushed their way on as new hordes pushed their way on. One of the new passengers was apparently a colleague of yours, since you greeted him and initiated a conversation from two rows away. You did not remove your headphones – and I’m guessing you didn’t lower the volume on your iPod, as you proceeded to talk at him in an inappropriate volume.
You: HI THERE! HOW ARE YOU? NOT BIKING TO WORK TODAY?
Him: No, not today.
You: DO YOU ALWAYS TAKE THIS BUS? I DON’T THINK I’VE SEEN YOU ON HERE BEFORE!
Him: Yes, if I don’t ride, I take this bus.
You: WELL, I USUALLY TAKE AN EARLIER BUS! I GUESS THAT’S WHY I HAVEN’T SEEN YOU! IS THIS THE BUS YOU USUALLY TAKE? FUNNY WE HAVEN’T SEEN EACH OTHER!
He then opens a book and begins to read. Which, after a brief pause, you apparently and quite mistakenly took as your cue to continue your “conversation.”
You: WHAT ARE YOU READING?
Him: <inaudible><shows you cover of book>
You: HAHAHA! WE SHOULD GET EVERYONE A COPY OF THAT AT WORK! HAHAHA! BLAH, BLAH, BLAH… YADDA, YADDA, YADDA…
It was at this point that I leapt from my seat and started screaming in your face, “SHUTUPSHUTUPSHUTUP! You’re talking too loud because you’re wearing those G.D. headphones while you’re talking! And can’t you leave that poor sap of a co-worker alone? He just wants to read his book in peace! He doesn’t want to talk to you – on MUNI or anywhere else for that matter! He probably hasn’t even had his coffee yet! What kind of monster are you?”
OK – I made that last part up… But I’m sure I’d’ve received a standing ovation had I done it. I did give her the side-eye while alighting from the coach, though… That’ll teach her…