Hey, a-hole! If the bus is crowded and you’re standing, take off your goddamn backpack! You’re blocking the entire aisle. And of course you are also standing at the very front of the bus, despite there being plenty of room further back…
And it’s Monday, for chrissake… It’s taking every bit of what little strength I have to hold it together as I make the transition from happy-go-lucky lady of leisure to down-trodden corporate prole… Having to push my way past you could be the proverbial last straw – which could lead to your being shanked… Consider yourself lucky that today you were only subjected to my extremely withering gaze and a long string of muttered obscenities.
Of course, my morning didn’t improve when I arrived at the office and attempted to alight from the elevator, only to come face-to-face with a passenger attempting to board blocking my egress. First of all, when waiting to get on an elevator, do not plant yourself right in front of the doors – this makes it impossible for others to disembark. Why this is not apparent and must be pointed out is really beyond me.
However, if you are slow-witted, you will likely find yourself in this unfortuanate and shameful position with regularity. Keep in mind that the correct response in this situation is NOT to remain frozen in place, statue-like, with a slack-jawed moon-face, your cow eyes staring blankly at some indeterminate point in space. The correct response is to GET THE FUCK OUT OF THE GODDAMN WAY! Jesus, people – it’s just an elevator, not a the Large Hadron Collider… Let’s get it together.